I've really been feeling very happy these few days. After a bouncy friday (of which it ended with a fantastic chat via MSN with Amanda Loke- who is a huge Liverpool fan and I totally didn't know until this year and boy let me tell you it feels great to talk to real female fans and that left me with a smile on my face), I had a good Saturday with my CG and their usual crappiness. And then today's church service and great lunch and dinner... (We just had chilli crab). I really had great company and talked loads to my family, just joking and laughing around. (Even though on friday I was busy telling my sister she was a wicked b**** because she was hogging the computer)

My parents don't like it when my sister and I toss around words like that so flippantly but they'll excuse the occasional f word if there's a really bad situation happening. But somehow even after we say those words, at the end of the day we still love each other and kid around for the fun of it. Maybe it's kinda whacked but in some way it may be a form of endearment. Yeah, come to think of it, it's quite whacked. But one hour later after a fight with my sister (mostly over the computer) it's all okay. Please don't think my family is very whacked. We're actually quite normal. Really.

We were talking about football and I found out my sister was one of those Man U semi likers because of Beckham! Actually I quite like him too. Ha, and I just liked Roy Keane too. And at the point of time I had already sworn allegiance to Ranieri with Zola and Desailly. Who says you can't like other members of rival football clubs? And then we started talking about the article about gay footballers, and we bond. Over warped thinking involving... aiyo. Better don't say. But this weekend has been quite football centered, with the talk with Manda and my mum asking about the whole Champions League/Premiership/Carling Cup/FA Cup thing.

Didn't go for the University of London talks after all. Reasoned that there was no one to go with me (Sonya abandoned me boo haha and so did Jing) but that's okay because the main reason is that until now I haven't received word from LSE or King's.

But I'm still happy.

The Lord will take care of my burdens. I need not worry. So I can be happy!

Nothing attracts me more than wit, great personality and haha hot looks. Random Random.

I love my sister! For now. (Cheryl: YAY. I KNEW IT.) Did I mention that we recently caught Kate & Leopold on TV and we loved it? My sister loved it! Can you believe that?)

I have an insane desire to dance wildly away in a field of flowers and sing sing sing happy songs of bouncy joy.

Just because. But it's probably momentary.

I'm quite sick about scaring myself with the A level results. Ever since YuX confirmed it was coming out on 1 March this morning, I decided to ignore it and go bake my eggtarts! Boy that took a long time. I ended up with too little dough and too much egg filling. The recipe didn't specify how many it made but it's actually for really little. So I just baked the filling anyway and called it egg custard. The eggtarts didn't turn out too good but since it was my first attempt at eggtarts, WELL DONE CHRISTINE!

OOH... The hyperness! I really wonder why especially since I was quite worried yesterday. But I decided to put those worries all away and just be happy! (While I can heehee) Actually, I'm happy because I truly believe that no matter what the results are, the Lord has a plan for me and I will be happy no matter where I end up as long as I have a positive attitude.

And I'm going to say this that no matter what some people say,

I LOVE CHELSEA.
I LOVE JOSE MOURINHO.

Teeheehee. There's just too much charisma.

"You rock my socks so I'm going to eat my socks." -Quek's favourite phrase for a while.
Dinner with Quek and WeeDs (haha) was fun! Though I couldn't eat the shrimp dumplings because it was prawn. Boo. So I ended up with plain noodles. Quek is a cuckoo. I don't know how WeeMin and I tolerate her. Guess we're just too nice. Ha.

Why don't people believe me when I say I don't want to go to school anymore. I don't want to study anymore. Even though before the exams I fell into a nice routine of studying and even kinda liked (?) it I really don't want to study anymore. I'm sure everyone has felt like this before. I just want to be married to a rich and good looking husband, perhaps someone like Abramovich with all his Billions! (Not to mention the fact that he owns Chelsea so I could probably get to dine with the team and Mourinho) It actually sounds quite funny when I blog about it because then it makes me out to be a person without great ambition.

So I shall clarify. I have great ambition. I want to do great things. But if someone I like who has enough money to support the kind of lifestyle I wish to have comes along saying he'll marry me and support me, I say "Bring on the wedding gown!" Ha. Okay, actually the best is just to have a nice career and job that I like, be surronded by the people I love and have a great family by my side--life would be pretty good.

Hmm... actually studying is ok I guess. Half of me wants to go back to school to learn all kinds of interesting things but the other half just wants to laze around at home. I guess I'm just the typical student.

And this has been an extremely cheerful and happy post. I should be happy more often. You know how to be happy more often? Hang around with people like Hwee. Sooner or later their TEEHEEHEES are going to make you crack up. Just like what is happening to me now.

I'm feeling restless, fidgety and annoyed. As always when my beloved Chelsea... doesn't win. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

As per normal, I wake up in the wee hours of the morning clutching my blanket and making my way to the living room and the magic box excited but tensed. I switch on the box, turn down the volume so as not to disturb the other members of the family and held my breathe in anticipation watching the pre-match build up. A tense first half with Del Horno being red-carded and Chelsea reduced to 10 men.

Chelsea against Barcelona. Both at the top of the table for their respective league.

The flow of the football was stunning, simply superb. Each minute left me gripping my blanket.

Jubilation as Barca conceded an own goal in the second half. I pumped my hands in the air and danced wildly in the living room. Then I came crashing down to earth when Chelsea conceded an own goal as well. And then 8 minutes later, a second one flew in from Barca. 1-2. And even though the match wasn't over, it was nearly, and I knew that Chelsea had lost the first leg. Going to Spain for the second leg meant they needed at least 2 to win and Home advantage was crucial. The away goals rule meant that if there was a tie on aggregate, away goals would count for double.

It shames me but I wept.

Though disgruntled and disappointed with the red card handed out to Asier Del Horno, José Mourinho vowed to go to the Camp Nou in two weeks’ time with a positive attitude.

“I am proud of my players, proud of the support of the fans and prefer to go to Barcelona in a positive frame of mind.”

“What changed everything was the fact we were playing 10 v 11 when we should not have been. It means you cannot play a pressing game, cannot double up on the wing, cannot defend deep. You are struggling basically.”
-chelseafc.com

I wept, a little. It strikes me whenever Chelsea plays how much it matters to me. Reading what Mourinho said makes me have faith but the manager knows that competitions like the Champions League and the FA and the League Cup are unpredictable because they're based on knockouts.

And it also occurred to me how lucky I was to be able to be upset over what some people may call 'a small thing'. In a strange and weird way, I rather weep over Chelsea than weep over disgusting A level results. Or failing my piano. I hope you get what I mean.

Today's lack of fire in me was also more likely a result of the tension between my father and me over him wanting me to do some data entry for him (getting paid as well) and me not wanting to do it. I guess I didn't really want to work because next week's not a good time to be working 9-5 for all 5 days, what with the results coming out. And also because I realised that I can't work and practice the piano at the same time. People who don't understand/play piano ask me why but the truth is that when you're tired and not in the mood to play, no matter how long you practice there simply isn't any use because your heart isn't in it. And that changes the tone of the piece completely (at least for me) 5 months to my exam isn't that long away and who doesn't want to pass on the first try? As an offhand comment, today's intensive piano practice left my hands feeling tired after practicing for so long and I was frustrated at first with my inability to 'feel' the music. But after relaxing and concertrating, it went well.

Maybe for others it's easy, but I know I always have to work hard to get things right for me.

Going for dinner later with Quek and WeeMin is bound to cheer me up.

I'm craving for ice cream at the mo.

Not to sound completely lost in my own world...
I would pay my respects to S Rajaratnam. His contributions to Singapore were astounding and reading the tribute to him today in the HOME section of the ST just made me aware of how much one person can change the world/country (in a cliched sense if you like) but it's true. I remember first hearing about him when I was learning about ASEAN because he was the one who signed the ASEAN declaration on 8 Aug 1976. (See you do learn stuff in Guides) and it's really nice that Singapore is doing so much to allow the younger generation to remember and learn about his contributions.

Am down with a persistent sore throat that refuses to go away for the past 4 days (today included) Am extremely peeved by it and feel as though have been overdosed by the doctor taking antibiotics and fever medicine and what not that has left me weak in the knees and basically weak everywhere that results in me clutching my head and stumbling back to bed.

It's a disgusting way to spend the week. I'm also annoyed because my plans have to be shifted and certain plans can't be confirmed because sore throats take the fun out of going anywhere. Thank goodness my internship is over because I'll be in no mood to talk. I lost my voice on Saturday but now it's back. Great, I just realised that the medicine is also making my fingers shake. To those whom I can't confirm plans with,am so sorry about it but this sore throat is unlike any other that I've had before, it feels like a tennis ball is being lodged in my throat. (The doctor said my throat is really swollen when he felt for lumps)

Judy- I don't know if you'll read this but thank you for the note. Even though it was short, it was enough to convey to me the message. You'll be missed too. I don't want to say I regret not spending more time with you when you were still in Singapore, but I'll be praying for the Lord to watch over you each day and bring you back safely to us soon. Love you.

Sonya told me something that cheered me up. But when I went to check my UCAS thing to see if I had been accepted into LSE too, the @#$^ing TRACK was down for maintainance. DANG. I really need to know if my application to LSE went through because I really want to make it there. Of course doing law in NUS is also now a really big priority too. I guess I'll be alot happier if I didn't feel so much like crap.

Chelsea 3-1 Colchester. We're going to play Newcastle next in the quarter finals of the FA. Boo. The last time we met in the FA we got kicked out but we were playing with only 9 men I think. And it was snowing.

Big matches in Champions League coming up. Arsenal VS Real Madrid. Chelsea VS Barcelona. (I don't know if Arsenal is playing at Highbury or in Spain) Shall wake up at 3.35 tomorrow to catch Real in action.

I really like the people at TPC, especially the secretaries. Haha, they've been really nice to me. Had lunch today with Vivien and she's just so cute. Ha. And Sim Hui is really nice too. I don't know the rest so well because well, Sim Hui sits outside near where we're sitting and Vivien, I guess it was because we went out for lunch since Monday. Mr Chandra is also going to help me write a letter that says I went for this attachment for 2 weeks and he really didn't have to do that so that was really nice. Tomorrow's my last day and as always, I shall put it very astutely, goodbyes suck.

This weekend is going to be one full of goodbyes. Not just to the people in TPC but also to church friends. Won't elaborate now but will after the 'farewell' dinner.

I'm not sure what I'll be doing after this internship, I don't think I want to go back to work because what with the sales job and now the internship, I realised I can't really concertrate on my piano. And even though the exam seems so far away in July, this is Grade 8 we're talking about. I really want to pass it on the first try and to go for lessons well prepared. Somehow I'm so tired after coming back home. Don't even know why. Perhaps I'm not used to waking up at 7. I shall probably just go and do relief teaching at SN and then go for my membership and baptism classes, maybe re learn the guitar and go for floorball training. I shall fill up my days with well rounded activities. While work is an experience, (I believe I've had enough experience thrown at me in the week I did the sales job), this break between A levels and University is the only long enough break for me to get down and do things I won't be able to do because I'm too tired when I'm studying.

Valentine's Day this year was one year I didn't receive any chocolates or flowers or candy. Sadly, secondary school and junior college gave me lots of stuff haha, so it was weird that there was no loot this year. But right now being attached isn't a number one priority (not that it ever was) but the A level results and my other options. 'One never plans to fail, one fails to plan' and for such an important thing like higher education, I will definitely plan. I've been planning quite early actually. (The only thing that will mess up my plans is if I don't do well or if I screw up the interview process) Boo.

People, next time, there's a concert, ask me to go. Was trying desperately to find people to go with me to see Oasis. Asked Sonya because she was the only one I knew who listened to them and just found out that Hwee and YuX bought tickets as well and they didn't know I wanted to go. So, to prevent such a thing from happening again like it did to the Michael Buble concert where I realised too late that Gladys wanted to go, if...

Josh Groben, Maksim, Clay Aiken, Westlife or Michael Buble ever come, you have to ask me to go.

For other concerts, maybe it won't matter as much if I miss them. But for those above, I MUST go.

I thought it was a typo error when I saw Middlesbrough 3-0 Chelsea.

Worst defeat ever since Jose Mourinho took over as manager.

I can at least be thankful that I didn't watch the match or see the LIVE commentary because I would have been having a heart attack.

We're talking being beaten by a team that's in the bottom half of the table. By 3 goals.

Beating top flight Chelsea.

Apparently the match reaction report said Chelsea showed no drive and no determination.

We have our lead being cut. Unless Man U lose to Portsmouth.

I hang my head in shame.

It is extremely extremely painful.

When you've been winning for so long, losing is relatively foreign and cuts like a knife when it does happen.

The disappointment over Warwick's rejection of my application is fading away because after all that ranting and worrying about the drop in confidence level, I still have LSE (as of today they've not squashed my hopes) and I realised that on further evaluation, London is the only place to go if you go to UK. Not the countryside where Warwick is. [I have been greatly influenced I suspect by Jinq Her- you should really see how passionate he gets when talking about the life in London and I'm desperate to experience the same]

The last 4 days at TPC was spent doing corporate law and the same deal which I must stress again I'm really thankful for the experience because it really was lucky that I managed to get in and really learn. I spend friday emailing. I found a partner in crime. YuX. Anyway, smiled quite a fair bit to myself today when reading emails... And spent the last hour talking to Jinq Her about art, lit and music. He knows romantic composers and he doesn't even take piano. I've never met a guy like that. Perhaps we'll see some of them intellects in law but I think his experience overseas gives him something different. Very interesting viewpoints. I love talking about things that make me think. I haven't done that in a long time. It's good to know my brain can still contemplate the cultural and not be limited to sales at TOPSHOP, ZARA etc etc (which while I love talking about shoe sales and clothing sales and goodness I think I want to go shopping right now, I really like working the brain). Good conversation. I feel bad knowing that he's doing work and I'm not. Ha. But only a little. =)

Today was also "Dress Down Day" like a casual friday thing where people actually wore jeans. Even the Directors! It felt kind of strange to see the lawyers in jeans or shirts that were less formal, more prints. They looked so different in comparison.

Today's O results, apparently SN did really really well. But it was slightly hampered by the lack of an A for my sister. Nuff said. Now it's time for me to start worrying again. This time about me. Dammit if I don't do well enough to apply for NUS law, we're not even talking overseas here, I shall be very angry because I put in the effort and I deserve to do well.

Watched the chinese show Survivor's Law (wow, doing internship reading up on legal cases and still watching a law show) then Survivor, then Barclays Premiership Preview. I saw Arjen Robben and Petr Cech and Mourinho. All the cuties. The close ups of them are just brillant. Brillant. In the light of the controversy surronding Robben's actions against Liverpool's Reina, I agree he should not have done what he did but it's over stop talking about it because he's a good player. I know people may say that what he did was not very ethical which to some extent I agree but incidents like this will always happen. Football's more than a game. Sometimes it's a show. I don't condone or condemn his actions.

Tomorrow should be a busy day. I hope I don't regret waking up. Haha

Never underestimate the power of believing prayer! I had a fever late Sunday night at 38 degrees and worrying like mad that it won't go away in time for my internship the next day. I prayed. And believed. And it went down in 2 hours. Miracle!

I spent the last 2 days doing an internship at Tan Peng Chin LLC. The first few hours were boring because there really wasn't much for me to do considering I have zero legal knowledge so could only read some legal articles and pass the time hearing the intern next to me tack away at keyboard keys doing actual work since he's a law graduate from UCL. By the way, talking with Jinq Her is like talking to Sonya, the level of intellect combined with just the experience he has that comes from studying overseas. The difference between those who stay in Singapore and those who study overseas is just startling. They have insight, they have... (not that locals don't but it's more like a refreshing viewpoint) Then Mr Chandra let me go to a meeting with these 2 lawyers, Wee Chong and Sri where they met a cilent and it's corporate kind of law, not litigation but it's really cool since it involves acquistion and apparently it's a really major thing that I can't disclose the deets because I can be sued.

The both of them are really nice, the whole bunch of them working at TPC have been really great. And so tomorrow I get to see the negotiation and the deal hopefully being clinched. Suits and formal wear and luncheons! Wee Chong is really friendly, he studied the same combi as me but without the lit and he was asking me about history and where we started from and I said, "French revolution, 1870!" And he laughed and said, "1789! 1870 was the unification of Germany!" I cannot believe I forgot that and I also cannot believe he could remember something like that that he studied so many years ago. But he's been really nice to me explaining legal terms and contracts that I'm blur about in layman terms. And he's so young. I really really like the atmosphere in TPC and if possible won't mind working there if I do graduate from NUS with a law degree. There hasn't seemed to be much office politics but I don't really know. Everyone seems happy to be working there.

For some strange reason, I started thinking about an incident that happened to me when I was Sec 4. It involved a group of girls that I wasn't very close to and a practical joke. Even though what happened was 2 years ago, I'm still surprised at how vengeful I felt then. Now it's mostly hurt and disappointment. Some people may ask why I choose to think about this again, why can't I just let it go, and why I even had such a response to what was meant to be funny. It wasn't funny. It's not funny especially when someone you thought was a friend 'stabbed you in the back' (one of them was a friend of sorts). I was suspicious during that period, they told me not to be and when I finally believed them, well, I wish I hadn't.

Why do I care when those people evidently didn't care about my feelings? They would say in their defense that it was only a joke. But a true friend would have known it would upset me. After writing about it, somehow I mean it when I say it doesn't bother me so much anymore. Analysing such a situation has made it easier to deal with. That these people aren't my true close friends. And I know now who my real friends are and am thankful for them.

The easiest thing would be to not mess with people's feelings intentionally, it's just too complicated trying to deal with the consequences.

Having done with that, I now ask: Why the hell in the world is the YA committee organizing weird things like a karaoke session? Why can't they be organizing our graduation instead?

Sadly my Chelsea is facing a slump with 3 1-1 draws played recently. When your team has been playing so well in the League for the past few months, draws are just... sad. And slumpy. So for Liverpool's visit to Stamford Bridge, may it be a well deserved win and not a draw. No no.

*stomps around like a petulent child*

It is 5.43 freaking AM and it is definitely not time for me to go to school and I should go back to bed but seeing that Luke Moore scored the equalizer for Aston Villa-Chelsea is making my blood boil. That's the problem with being 1 up.

Something's wrong with Arsenal. They've been kicked out of the League cup in the semis and the FA and now they're lost 2-3 against West Ham. And Man U! They've fought back so the score is now 4-3 against Blackburn. If Chelsea can only get 1 point, then other teams can't get any points. Ha. And Liverpool just made it a tie with Birmingham at the 88th min with a Xabi Alonso own goal. Funny. I'm laughing with joy. Fans will not be.

A little maths here to thrill you.

Currently- 63 points at top of table
Leading by: 15 Man United 12 Liverpool (if they win their 2 games in hand)
Points last season- 95
Games remaining- 14
Possible combination to beat point record- 96- 11 wins 3 Losses

I had to do some calculations. 100 points seems far away now that we've tied. We'll need 12 wins, 1 draw and 1 loss allowed if the 3 digit mark is to be reached. How sad. It would be fitting for our centennial.

CNY. Visiting relatives and friends.

Had an okay reunion dinner on the eve at my first uncle's place (dad's side), talking with Darran about the club21 job where he knew some of the people I worked with considering that he was previously working in Isetan's CK. Watched a silly chinese show and ate. Had the traditional mee sua the first day at my fourth uncle's place (dad's side) where my grandma kept asking me in hokkien to eat more eat more. She kept pointing to the ingredients and gesticulating with her hands, as if horrified that my already filled to the brim bowl wasn't full enough. She keeps trying to feed me. Then it was over. We've concluded the visiting to dad's side for the year, save Christmas at our place or a big birthday.

Visited my other cousins on the second day (mum's side) Spent the time eating and watching Cassandra maneover her character on the xbox through various quests and killing of wasps and bandits. It was pretty funny in the beginning because she didn't really know how to handle the game and ended up kicking chickens, stealing books and whacking the people she was supposed to save. We always feel more relaxed with the cousins of mum's side, perhaps the reason is that we're all girls. And there's only 4 of us. Dad's side is so much bigger and the guys just group together. We were quite close when we were younger but now that we're all grown up in the late teens and some in the 20s... it can get rather awkward.

The third day was spent with my parent's close friends. They have this really beautiful house in Bukit Timah that they designed themselves with water surronding the house. Don't really know how to describe it but it is just awesome. Anyway, we always have good food there. Marcus is really quite a good big brother to Ethan and Hugo. Hmm... or maybe he scolds them too much that they listen to him. We've known them almost forever but Marcus in his early teens seems more shy when talking to older girls. But we somehow bonded again over Maplestory. Marcus no longer plays but is helping Ethan who in all his early primary school years screams "Take the money take the money" and "Kill kill kill kill" (You get money after you kill the monsters and you gets experience points to level up if you kill monsters) How cute. Marcus started teaching him bad stuff to say like "F off" to other players who are probably quite young and don't know what that means. Hugo is even cuter being the youngest. Seeing the 3 of them together made me think that having cute children is really nice. Haha. They'll definitely grow up and become heartbreakers someday. Quite a pity I'm older. By many years.

Aside from the festivities, I've experienced a horrifying nightmare just now. I woke up gasping for air and trying not to hyperventilate. What could be the cause? Well, only the A level results. It being CNY and having to tolerate many questions on "When are your results coming out What do you intend to do in Uni", I guess it was inevitable that something like this would have happened. It was a weird dream, how can I go back to SN to get my results for something I've done in VJ. How can I not look at my results and assume I did well. It only occurred to me to look when in the MRT station and I saw this. R U M O 3. There could have been a D. The O is a possibilty and the M too could have been a merit for my S and 3 could have been for my GP. U=Ungraded? R=Really bad? Nonsense. Thank goodness. But really, I ended up collapsing in the MRT station and screaming. What a ridiculous dream founded on the subconscious fears of a girl. It is with confidence that I say I hope I never see that kind of grades (real or otherwise) ever again. At least, we've got to aim higher than a 3 for GP though I know it's tough. Hee.